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DEAREST ERNI.
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Monday, September 08, 2008 [♥] 8:24 PM
 umm , well heyys ... & yea .. umm , iim kinda lyk stuck on my keyboard & ii simply dunnoe wad turh sae .. ii wanna jus spill it ol out bcuz ii realized dat tellin my fwens will jus seem lyk iim addin more probs fer dem .. so here ii m .. tokin turh maself . lols +.+ [P.O.D.D] ii noe yoos trust miie & ii trust yoos , well sumtymes ii may get carried awae . at tymes ii lied & ii din tell yoos da truth , swear ii din mean it , baby plz stae .. wen iim stressed up wiib my problems & situations , ii kept iit turh maself & awae frm yoos .. sum hurt miie wiib their words & actions .. though dey might nort realize iit , ii bet dey wont even care 1 bit .. swear ii din turh keep iit awae frm yoos ... der r tymes wen dey're too much & dey hurt miie ALOT , ii jus stood helplessly alone & yoos asked miie y .. anxiously ; yoos sumtymes tot iit was ur fault , ii jus kept quiet as my tears dropped turh cry .. POST : dat nyte on 060908 , dat fear struck miie hard .. wen ii reached hme dat dae , ii ran straight turh my bed , [all wet afta wokin iin da rain]+.+ & ii tot abt everytiink .. ii noe ii've let yoos down .. ii cudnt put maself turh slp dat nyte , so ii stared blankly arnd my room .. ii finally get my eyes closed at 4.32 am iin da murniin which woke miie up at 12.59 iin d afternoon .. den ii cud hardly get up .. ii've gort a huge painful headache which attracts daddy into my room & made miie feel a lil betta .. askin miie wad's botherin miie & stuff .. but still , ii chose nort turh speak .. he can read miie lyk a book .. anywaes , thx dad .. ily loads .. he cooked mushroom soup fer miie dat cold afternoon but ii din hab any appetite . he fed miie 2 turh 3 spoons & ii jus kant take iit anymore wen my head starts attackin miie agaen .. he wen fer work at 5pm which left miie alone at hme wonderin & floatin my mind on wadeva dat's happenin .. daddy , thx fer everytiink , agaen . ernii loves yoos ~ baby , ii noe ur disappointed , well ii guess dats ol ii eva did .. ii bet ii nebba make yoos happie but instead , ii add up turh ur problems .. iim foolish enuf turh do ol dose stoopiid tiinks . yea ii noe iits hard turh understand miie .. in fact , ii sumtymes kant understand maself either .. ii noe ur mad , reali mad .. sry doesn't cure anytiink . but wad m ii suppose turh do wen ders nutiink left turh do ? without yoos , iim lost .. ii wish iit wud rain everydae .. iim so stressed up .. & ii gotta put on dis reali stoopiid fake smile , so dat dey wont notice a single tiink .. iim jus happie turh c ol my love ones happie .. 2dae iin skuwl , ii felt lyk ii was a total stranger turh yoos .. ii mean , we were completely avoidin each other lyk hell & & ii kant help but turh pretend dat nutiink has happened .. so lets ol jus end dis wiib a smile .. a wide smile [while ii let my tears fall] ... |
